Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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