She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
