there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
