Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
