I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
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Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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