I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
