I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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