porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize