Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
too bad you live with your parents still
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
