They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His nipple licking is glorious
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