think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
