Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My hand turned me down
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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