Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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