So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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