bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
