all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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