Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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