his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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