Don't you send me to vm
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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