It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
