Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
