I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
