i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
