I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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