Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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