The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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