If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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