Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just high enough for therapy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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