1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
