i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
