ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
