is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
