How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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