My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
