Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
