We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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