The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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