How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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