I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
should my penis look like a turkey
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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