I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
