How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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