Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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