sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
