apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
they need to just BURY HIM!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
