My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
