All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i love accidental penises.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
