when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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