So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
