He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize