Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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