Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
