I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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