i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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