You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
