He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I forget how to act sober
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
