If i come over, it means nothing
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
