I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
where are my eyebrows?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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