I can text with my tongue
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
