i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
