im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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