I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
