I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
