So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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