So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am one with the molecules
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
